Mr. Trump Goes to Ottawa

Parliamentary All Party Sub Committee Discussion:
The Federal Canada Labour Code (CLC) – June 12 2022

The PM: “Honourable Members, I am pleased to chair this committee discussion on the rights of employees under the Canada Labour Code (“CLC”). As all members would know, employees working for private companies regulated by federal jurisdiction, including banks, transportation, communication providers and interprovincial trucking are governed by the CLC for all matters relating to hours of work, pay, dismissal, severance, and….”

Donald Trump: “Hummmah, hummmah, excuuuse me and what am I over here chopped liver?”

The PM: “Ah yes, yes, but of course, ahem, and I am pleased to welcome the former President of our beloved friends and southern neighbours, Donald Trump, who made an unexpected request earlier this morning to attend these proceedings.” – the chair recognizes former President Trump.

DT: “Former? Well not for long, but yes, I was on my way to meet my good for nothing sons for some moose hunting in this Great White North and I got bumped off my connecting flights, something about wearing a mask. Anyway, I can’t just hop on Air Force One these days you know, for now anyway and money is a bit tight so I just thought…..”

The PM: “I am sure that’s very interesting Sir but as I was saying, the CLC provides a code of substantive law together with its own speedy procedural apparatus, for adjudication of all employment disputes by federally appointed arbitrators, offered at no cost to the employee.”

The member from Oketokey (and the Islands): “Could the Right Honourable Prime Minister be good enough to explain just how a worker can access this system, say if they are being harassed at work, deprived of overtime, or not paid their remuneration?”

DT: “Just hold on, wait a minute, what’s so bad about that? In my business, you have to screw every worker you can before they do it to you. If they don’t like it, let ‘em find another job, or go on welfare. At Trump & Co. we…..”

The PM: “Mr. Trump, please sit down. Canadian law has a very progressive regime of laws in matters of employment and labour, and that includes provincial minimum standards statutes, as well as Judge made law. The CLC was designed to give individual federally regulated employees, who do not have the bargaining power of a union, substantial rights to protect them from employers, so to answer the honourable member’s question…….”

Donald Trump muttering, “sounds like commie crap to me.”

The PM: “Mr. Trump with all due respect, one more outburst and you will have to go into the corner on a time out. As I was saying, to answer the honourable member, in those circumstances, a federally regulated employee may apply directly to any office of Employment and Social Development Canada, or online under Part III of the CLC, to have a Labour Inspector appointed, who would investigate the matters in question. An Inspector will file a report in thirty days to all parties and if the issue is not resolved, the matter will proceed to an adjudication. Once again, no costs are required by the employee.”

DT: “You mean an honest business guy like myself can’t hire some cheap shyster lawyer to squeeze, delay and frustrate them until they give up? What kind of rigged system is this? Okay, you hayseeds, let me tell you how we do it in Jersey.”

The PM: “Mr. Trump, I warned you. You are a guest here, mais non? So please refrain from interrupting the proceeding. I think it should be obvious that you are in a sovereign nation, which has its own political culture and laws reflecting the same, different from yours and that Canadians support a much more equitable dispute resolution system for all employment matters. From what I understand, workers in some so-called ‘right to work’ states in the US are forced to sign contracts that allow the employer to terminate employees with long service ‘AT WILL’ without any form of notice or severance at all. Such clauses are void in all provinces and under the CLC. When are you going to respect that we are different here? You know Medicare, subsidized tuition, vaccinations?”

The Member from Deux Beaux Freres sur Lac: “Pouvez-vous continuer avec ton discours Mr. Premier Ministre? Quelles sont les droits au Canada pour les employées qui ont été congédie?”

DT: “What the hell, who let that foreign ‘alien ‘in here? Hey, frenchie, speak white uh parley vooz mademoiselle from parmenteer, O la la ….!”

The PM (to a staffer): “Mon dieu, chris de tabernac, how long are we going to put up with this boor? It was enough that I had to deal with him for the four years he was President. Mr. Trump, this is a fully bilingual, bicameral parliamentary legislature. The honourable member has an absolute right to pose his question in either official language, and if we were back in Montreal, I would pick up my bat de baseball and give you a Point St Charles special like when I was teaching high school. Does anyone here have a copy of ‘Janes Diplomacy Protocols’ …. Please! Pls?”

The Minister: “Perhaps I can be of assistance. Now then to answer the honourable members very excellent question, the rights of a terminated employee are substantial. If a person is employed for twelve consecutive months or more with the same employer, they can similarity apply within ninety days of the date of their dismissal under Part III of the CLC for a direct unjust dismissal complaint, to Employment and Social Development Canada. At that time, a mediation is scheduled within a reasonable amount of time, where the parties meet to try and resolve the issue. If the mediation is unsuccessful, an Adjudicator is appointed to convene a hearing and render a binding decision. Just as in the superior courts of each Province, it is the employers’ burden to prove just cause. If that test cannot be met, the employee is entitled to compensation, which starts at a minimum of two weeks’ notice plus two days per year of service, to an unlimited maximum based on a person’s age, length of service, and position. This assistance is also available in situations where the employee has been ‘constructively’ dismissed: 1. material change in status; 2. having to work in a poisonous environment; 3. sexual harassment; and 4. significant reduction in remuneration.”

The member from Two and a Half Rivers: “Now we are talking. Isn’t it true that the CLC goes even further, empowering an Adjudicator to order anything that would make an employee as they say “whole” including a letter of reference, mental distress damages and an apology if the Canadian Human Rights Act is offended?”

The Labour Minister: “That’s right my dear colleague. All of that and more. If the individual is employed for more than one year and not a member of senior management, he/she is entitled to seek REINSTATEMENT, with back pay. Truly the most progressive Labour Code in the Western Hemisphere.”

DT: “Are you guys nuts? I tell you how I would handle this. I would stand up on a chair, look this little lady in the eye and holler ’you’re FIRED’, and then laugh if she started to cry, just like in the old days on my show. If it’s a man, I would say ‘get lost you loooser’, and then tell a couple of my boys to pick him up, use his head as a battering ram and throw him through the door. Like I have said, the cops are too easy on these people they put into the back of the police cars. You know, we had terrific ratings, just terrific, the best.”

The PM: “That’s enough! Mr. Trump. These gentlemen will lead you to the parliamentary dining room for a nice lunch. We have some excellent Canadian specialties that you asked for: moose burgers, beavertails and poutine with comment a vous desirez, double extra gravy? Then it’s my pleasure to have you flown anywhere you want to go as long as it’s not here.”

DT: “Poutine, you said?” Is he here too? Yeah, there’s a man. I agree with everything he said.”

PM: “Poutine Sir, the side dish, right this way.”

DT: “Well, alright but don’t cheap out on the cheese turds either. By the way, now that I know you people are up to this nonsense, next time I’m President, I think I’m going to order a ‘Yuge‘ military invasion, but not in the winter, unless we get that appropriation for dog sleds that they told me to sign on my last day. Where’s General Flynn and Rudi? They can fix it.”

The PM: “Yes, Sir Mr. Trump, well in that case then I’ll worry about it as I worry about last year’s snowfall. Members, any final thoughts?”

The Minister: “Yes Prime Minister. It should be noted that an employee complainant has strictly 90 days to file a CLC complaint from the date of the violation or termination to take advantage of the dispute procedures we have outlined and will someone tell Mr. Trump that he left a black marker on his seat.”

The PM: “We are adjourned, Ok Bon who is up to fly to Tofino for a Jacuzzi and then a Primal Scream “?

Lecker & Associates is an employment law firm in Toronto that has represented employees for over 35 years. We specialize in cases involving wrongful dismissal, constructive dismissal, employment law in Ontario, employment contracts, sexual harassment in the workplace, short and long-term disability claims.